OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done...
-Dr. Seuss
Aw, Dr. Seuss. I love you. One year after your death, when I was 10 years old, my parents gave me your book "Oh, the Places You'll Go" (still have the book) for Christmas and I remember thinking, "Oh geesh, really? What a waste of Christmas gift" (yes, I was a brat). I was too old for Dr. Seuss! I wasn't a child. I didn't need your silly words and rhymes. Besides, by then I was reading more sophisticated books like The Boxcar Children series (ha!). But now, as an adult, I admit I've gained a new appreciation for the simple truths found in your books. As a kid, I couldn't relate to what was said on those pages like I can today. Now all those crazy words and rhymes make perfect sense. So thanks Dr. for helping me reset my perspective on life (ps, you're a lot more affordable than a real psychologist). Now on to some of the things I need to learn:
Living in the Moment. In the movie
Peaceful Warrior (one of my most favorite movies of all time fyi), there's a dialog about living in the moment that goes like this: "
Where are you? Here.
What time is it? Now.
What are you? This moment." It's a powerful lesson that the bulk of our attention should be focused on the here and now, the ever continual present. What I am doing now, in this very moment, is what matters most. Not what has happened and not what
might happen, but
what is happening. The past is already gone, and the future will never come exactly the way I imagine it either.
Truth be told I spend so much of my time in a daze thinking about the future, or dreaming of the past that people talking to me will notice that I "check out" of any given conversation quite frequently. I think my eyes give it away. Talk to my coworkers, they know all about it. Growing up I never had this problem. I always lived in the present. And life was exciting, fun, and rewarding. Rain or shine I could see the beauty of the day, of the present. I was alive. Looking back, I know I made the most of my childhood and I have no regrets.
Now that I think about it, I realize that this shift in my way of living occurred five years ago when I started confronting my sexuality. A lot of things about me changed then. I have spent so much of my time worrying about the future that I've missed out on enjoying a lot of the present. Trying to answer all "what if's" and uncertainties about my life is never ending and for an obvious reason--I'm not a wizard. So here's to living in, and enjoying, the present.
Relaxing. So what if I don't do/attain everything I want to in mortality? Death is not the end. There will always be opportunity for me to travel the world, learn another language, join a sports team, change someone's life for the better, make friends, have a family, etc. I'm not saying that I've given up on working toward my goals and desires here in mortality, just trying to keep it all in perspective. It doesn't all have to be done now.
I certainly need to take a chill pill though. I've got some actually. They're pretty nice. But philosophically speaking, I just need to relax, and not take life so serious. This is another one of those changes that occurred within me back when I began acknowledging my sexuality. I used to be a really lighthearted person. I laughed more, joked around more. I enjoyed making other people laugh, even if it was at my own expense. I was playful and easy going. Very different from how I am today. In confronting my sexuality I have become more reserved, conscientious, serious, and hesitant. Perhaps if I can avoid focusing all my attention on my sexuality, I can revive this part of me that has laid dormant for so many years.
Ignoring Negative Thoughts. Whew, this one's a biggie. If my thoughts could be seen by the world (and I'm sure glad they're not) I would be the ugliest creature known to man. I spend a lot of my time telling myself that I'm not good enough, that nobody really likes me, that I'm not very smart, that I'll never achieve greatness in life, that I'll never be happy or satisfied, that I'm not a good person or friend, that I will never achieve my goals and wants in life, that I'm not likable or lovable, etc. (the list goes on for another mile) and I will interpret the simplest of life experiences as evidence to confirm these lies. Why do I entertain negative thoughts? I suppose it's because it prepares me for failure, when it reality, it becomes the cause of my failure--a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think early in life, somewhere, we are taught that saying good things about ourselves is prideful, self-centered, or vain. I need to start telling myself good things, and recognize failure as a learning opportunity and not an end.
Purpose. My life is in pretty desperate need of purpose. A lot of this is related to the fact that I don't have a significant other. I need someone to love, people to interact and spend time with, people to help and serve. I have to know that I am doing something positive in the life of someone else. That people need me, especially my friends and family. That I matter. Nothing gives me greater purpose than knowing that I am making a positive difference in the lives of those around me. How will I find purpose? I'm not sure yet. It's still something I have to learn. But I know in my heart that there is a greater purpose for me.
Friendship. My whole life I've never been good at making friends which is strange because I like 99% of the people I meet. But I've battled with social anxiety ever since I was a teenager and I think, as a consequence, I send out bad vibes when I first meet someone. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I think there's definitely something I do that turns people off to me. Anyway, hopefully I'll figure out what it is, and how to fix it. Either way, it has taught me to value the friendships I do have and not take any of them for granted since they don't come easily.
Letting Go. Letting go of things, people, beliefs, dreams, ideas, etc. can be extremely difficult but is often necessary if we're ever to find happiness. How do I let go of incorrect paradigms? false beliefs? former friends and acquaintances? unrealistic dreams and hopes? Those are all questions I'm still trying to learn the answer too. But letting go is part of moving on, changing for the better, and living in the present.
Making Things Happen. Life happens whether we are or not. Like I mentioned before, my failure to live in the present has caused me to miss out on the here and now. Occasionally, it'll catch me off guard, and I'll come to a sudden realization that I missed out on something and wonder where it was that was. And then I'll remember that I was so preoccupied with thinking about past or future that I literally missed out on something happening in the present. I wish I knew how to describe this experience better. Maybe an example? Hmmm.... It's kinda like this one time when I was at recess in elementary school. I was so engrossed in this game I was playing with another kid that I didn't even hear the bell ring. It took quite some time before we noticed that all the other kids had left the playground and it was just us. I was really thrown for a loop. How could I have missed something so obvious? But that's what life is like when your mind is elsewhere. You can miss out, even on what should be obvious. But part of that equation is learning to make things happen in your life, not merely being a reactionary to what happens to come along your way. If there's something you want out of life, you've gotta take the steps to make it happen.
Anyway, this is all stuff I hope to learn sooner than later. But, I suppose if I just took my own advise and relaxed, it would all work itself out one way or another :-) Good night.